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Mario Kart Wii's a fine game, of that there's no doubt. But what on earth have Nintendo done with the introduction of those tight-turning, corner-cutting, cheating, wheelie-ing bikes? Head inside for our full feelings on this touchy subject...
Things start out quite well in Mario Kart Wii for the newcomer - a nice easy 50CC Grand Prix to ease you into the game, karts flying around the track just as they should and not a two-wheeled vehicle in sight anywhere. After all, if you wanted to ride motorbikes, you'd play Excitebike, right? Wrong. Mario Kart takes a radical swing in the opposite direction come the 100CC GP and - to the horror of veterans around the world - ditches the karts completely. Yep, that's right. Mario Kart Wii becomes Mario Bike Wii, the tried-and-true method of drive, hop, powerslide, boost is thrown out the window and wheelies reign supreme. The game never fully recovers from this atrocity, instead allowing unsuspecting racers to ride bikes whenever they want alongside other racers with karts - yes, at the same time! It'd be bad enough if you could just ride one type of vehicle only, but Nintendo have, for some indecipherable reason, decided to allow bikes and karts on the track at the same time, thus ensuring havoc is wrought throughout the game both off and online. You can probably tell by this stage, if not on first sight of crafty ol' Waluigi up there, that I really, really don't like the bikes. Now, I'm all for new changes that improve the game, but when these changes start to fiddle with a tried-and-true formula and inevitably mess it up, that's when my foot goes down. So what exactly is wrong with the bikes? Surely they're fair play just like karts?
Well, if you believe that, you're either sadly mistaken and will discover that one sorry day, or (more likely) you're an avid biker who takes full advantage of their overpowering features.
Let's take a look at some of these now: 1) Handling
The first thing you'll notice about a sizeable chunk of the bikes in Mario Kart Wii is that they take corners like, well, superbikes. Their turning circle is so tight that these beasts wouldn't blink at hitting the final corner of DK's Snowboard Cross at a ludicrous angle, turning around practically on the spot to correct this minor oversight and then wheelie-ing home for a, cough, stylish victory. (Note that not all bikes corner this well - we'll give these individuals some minor slack but still a fair bit of punishment as you'll discover in Point 2.) 2) Wheelies
Ah, yes, the bane of honest, fair Karters around the world. Regardless of how many power-slides your kart does around each corner (and yes, that includes those ridiculously worthless orange turbos that I can only presume are some kind of a peace offering from Nintendo to make up for the wheelies), anyone with a bike will constantly outrace your kart on a straightaway thanks to the wheelie. One flick of the Wii Wheel or Wiimote and any bike will perform one of these, receiving a considerable speed boost at the laughable expense of not being able to turn - and seriously, who cares about that when you can just hit the jump button when you're finished and the bike will continue its normal course?
Combine this with the aforementioned superbike handling and it's not hard to see why you'll quickly find even the fastest of karts dropping back behind pretty much any comparable bike. 3) Speed
Bikes are bikes, and everyone knows they go faster than cars. So don't be surprised when you floor the accelerator in your old 150cc banger and find yourself eating the dust of Joe Bloggs on his bike - and John Smith, and Jim Doe, and... that's about all I've got to say about that. 4) "We've Made It Fair, Honest"
Despite Nintendo's claims of having balanced karts and bikes, in reality anything could be further from the truth.
As mentioned, karts can perform orange Mini-Turbos whereas bikes can "only" perform blue turbos, but the extra time and cornering space it takes a kart to pull off an orange turbo means they just don't compare to the sheer racing power of the wheelie.
Bikes are supposedly much more easily knocked around than karts, and can have their wheelies stopped by a good nudge, but in practice, especially with heavier bikes, this just isn't a factor. How are you supposed to smack into a bike to knock it off course when it's already a mile ahead of you thanks to a wheelie-assisted turbo start? Wrapup & Personal Opinion
Needless to say, as a long-time veteran karter I'm less than pleased with the introduction of bikes in Mario Kart Wii. They spoil the game and provide an unfair advantage for those that use them. Offline with casual races it isn't so much of an issue, but online where there's hard-earned points at stake they become a real problem. If there was an option to disable bikes online and race only with karts, that would be great, but I can't see it happening. I can however frankly see an online racing future where anyone that's worth their salt has to use a bike to be able to compete, because the gap in vehicle ability with racers of the same skill is so huge it isn't even funny. But until that day does come - this man's sticking to the karts. Long live the Mario Kart series! Agree? Disagree?
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